A Dangerous, Exotic Love
by The Deer Lord
Summary: Finn finds his way into a mysterious kingdom. Finn X Jungle Princess. Drama/Romance/Suspense.


Hope it ain't too shabby. A Finn X Jungle Princess fic… Drama/Romance/Suspense.

In the land of Ooo rested a hidden land where no eyes could peer in. It was so shrouded by trees, that not even half of the sunlight made it down to the ground. The air was thick and humid, yet peaceful and calm.

The people had funky hair colors and a dark teal color to their skin. They were dressed not unlike Native Americans.

Finn was all alone that afternoon. The depth of winter brought a depression that couldn't be shaken off of him. It was very cold and windy.

Jake moved out to Lady Rainicorn's place, and could only visit once every couple of weeks. Finn was to his own business now.

He headed out the door and started his 4x4 rover. He usually drove north towards the Candy Kingdom to meet up with all of his friends, but he was in a fit and drove south.

The road heading in that direction looked dilapidated and worn, but he didn't care. He drove on, absorbing the scenery around him. It started to look even more remote when the road became thinner. Only two lines went down the center, and they were choppy at best.

He was running low on gas, and he finally spotted a lone gas station with a little market. He turned in, and a teal-skinned man with full clothes came to pump the gas. Finn stepped out, and instantly noticed the increased temperature. 'At least 15 degrees,' he thought. He grabbed a cranberry soda and some chili flavored chips. 'There's a lot of those,' he thought again.

"I haven't seen anyone from the Candy Kingdom in forever…" The manager cries out.

"Yea… the road is totes hard to manage."

"It's seem to have worn out a long time ago…"

"Hey, where does your kind live?"

"Down that dirty road… It keeps going on for Glob knows long…"

"How did you end up here?"

"I kinda moved out of tribal life many years ago… Got boring, I must think." He responded.

"They're a tribal society?"

"Yep. And I went to the Candy Kingdom to learn how to be more civil, I must say."

"Was that expensive?"

"Princess Bubblegum gives cuts in price for anyone residing within the Jungle, but most just tend to live in their primitive ways. Hey, you looking for a princess?"

"Nah, not really… But a princess?"

"Yeah… She's so gorgeous… Oh my Glob. And you're Finn, right?"

"The one and only Finn…"

"She'd probably like you then… I've heard that all princesses want to kiss you silly. I wonder why…"

"Cuz I'd have good genes for their children?"

"Possibly… Maybe you're different than everyone else."

"Yeah… But I'm a mere human."

"Sometimes less is more, dude."

"I get that…"

"Your gas is done pumping… See you later!"

"What's your name?"

"Max!"

"Be back sometime."

He headed into his car and started to drive further down the road. It got bumpier and bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Finally, the pavement just seemed to end and it became a wide dirt path. He still drove on.

It seemed like a teal princess was swimming around in his head. He imagined her having this wild hair color and this mathematical romantic feel around her.

Eventually, the road became a single lane, and when he rolled the window down to feel the cool air, it was quite frankly warm. Like seventy-five degrees warm… The trees were also more jungle-like and wild looking.

He kept driving, coming up to a cul-de-sac. There was a sign that said, 'Park Car.' He stopped the car. He got out, leaving his jacket in the vehicle, because it was at least eighty degrees by the time he got there. He thought it was really nice.

He walked down the wooded path. It bent left and right, but mainly went south. After an hour of walking, he saw this little gate in the distance. He ran up to it and gave a friendly knock on the door.

"Greetings, our new offering…" The gateman said to Finn.

He simply walked in, and was offered a ride on a mule.

"Well, thank you guys… Heh…" Finn nervously thanked them.

"The King was looking all over for the human."

"My name is Finn… And I'm the last human."

"That makes you even _more _important!"

"Why would that make me more important?"

"Because he wants you to be the main facet of her tribal dance!"

"I, the star of the dance! Math!"

"And furthermore, you'll be hot there…"

"Me? A star?!"

"Hot like a star, and visible from above too!"

Finn was excited. This seemed like a whole crud ton of fun, and he was going to be the popular guy? He felt half-smug.

The mule rode into the glorious, Aztec styled pyramid palace.

"Alight from the beast, mister."

He hopped off the mule, walking to meet the king of the jungle. The king looked so regal despite the native styling.

"Greetings human stranger. What brings you to these thick-wooded lands?"

"I just drove here. I was bored and decided to drive somewhere else."

"What luck brings you to these shrouded lands. You were the perfect one to be the centerpiece of our Moon festival!"

Finn shuddered at the implication. "Okay. When is the festival?"

"The celebration of the Jungle people will begin at the morrow, when the Moon arises from its daylong sleep. Also, you are an informal chap, are you not?"

"Where will I be staying?"

"Your will rest in my daughter's manse."

Finn's heart skipped a handful of beats. "When can I go?" He asked in a hurry.

"Wait until the hour of the Moon comes."

Finn sat and waited until moonrise.

"Head off to meet my daughter."

Finn bolted out of there in excitement.

He entered the Princess' manse, seeing her look at him with an inviting look.

"I'm going to be the star of the tribal dance!"

"Yes, sir." She looked at him with happiness.

"That's what your daddy said!"

"You're going to be a sacrifice." She whispered, making me shiver in fear.

"That's totes not what I was asking for."

"You're going to be burned for the glob Edu."

"This is totally not math! Oh Jake."

"You'll be happy when you understand."

"Yeah, right." His stubbornness was slightly annoying to her.

Despite such conversation, Finn scanned her tribal styled outfit. She was gorgeous.

"You look… um really pretty there, Princess…"

She smiled, but I could see some red on her face. "Thank you mister."

"Um no problem…" He scratched the back of his head. "What you wanna do?"

"Do you wish to observe the stars, sir?"

"Well, um, fine. I'd… um… love to!"

"Your coyness is making me blush." She giggled.

They lay down on the grass next to each other, looking at the stars. As the night rolled on little by little, he inched closer and closer subconsciously. He started to get really nervous about something. He wanted to hold her in with her arm. But for the love of Glob, how could he even do it?

"What is bothering you, mister?"

"Call me Finn… And… I just wanna…" He pushed past his shyness and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. To his surprise, she snuggled into his side. He could feel her warm up.

"You're so sweet Finn."

He felt loved and replied, "Anytime." They just snuggled. Eventually, they fell asleep.

_(Jungle Princess' dream…)_

_I watched Finn head to his death. The stake was standing tall. My father was cheering in sickening joy. I don't know why I felt sad. If he would've just kissed me before he left, I would've felt better. But I felt hollow watching him burn. He screamed in tortured agony. I couldn't stand seeing him hurt so much. I swear that he would cry my name._

"_Calliope! CALLIOPE!" He would moan in excruciating pain as he died by fire._

_He went limp and the high-rising flames baked the rest of his body. I truly cried then. I blew up at my father in a not-so-blind rage._

"_FATHER! How could you kill this kind young man?"_

"_Daughter. He was the paragon of all of our sacrifices. He had to go."_

"_No he didn't." I said bitterly. "He was so kind to me."_

"_Do you wish to die in the fashion that he did?"_

"_I would rather meet him in the afterlife than cry all of my life!"_

"_Guards! An extra sacrifice to Edu, the divine lord!"_

"_Aye captain." They took me to the pole where my love died. They put me on the other end. They tied me. They set the matches. The fire rose. I felt my limbs being roasted. I could barely stand the pain. My vision began to go… Fading… … fading… … … … fading … … … … … … … …_

The Princess' sudden bawling awakened Finn. By instinct, he gave her a powerful hug and laid her head upon his free shoulder. He petted her purple hair.

"It's okay…" He wiped the tears from her face. He had a hard time not crying.

"You're alive…?" She said through sniffles.

"Yes Princess, totes right here…"

"Calliope please…"

"It was just a nightmare…" He snuggles against her.

All of a sudden she passionately kisses him. He returns it and removes the skull, letting her hair fall down. 'It's so soft…' Finn thought.

After they separated, Finn became determined. They both got up and pecked each other's lips before Finn spoke up.

"Calliope. I don't have to die this lame death."

"But Edu needs his sacrifice."

"Let's totes forget about 'Edu…' If you wanna be happy, I've got a plan… Any way out?"

"Lemme pick up Edu's skull…"

"No time. Where do we go?"

She pulled me along this secret passageway, which led around to the cul-de-sac where the car was. They heard babbling between the folk.

"How did you find this? That was so math!" Finn said when they were out of range of the townsfolk.

"War-time exit…" She whispered. "What's that?"

"That's a car. I use it to get out of here. You totes got me, right?"

"Alright."

"Pull that handle and pull on the whole door." She grabbed the black handle and pulled the door open. "Get into the chair." She sat herself down.

"Hey, this feels odd… Soft though."

"Pull that strap over to the buckle to your left. It should make a 'snap' noise." She pulled it until it snapped. "This junk better start…" He cranked the engine. It took about five seconds to turn over. "Mathematical! Let's move."

He drove as fast as he could through the dirt road. But then it started to rain extremely hard. He prayed to Glob to get through. It was getting harder to drive. Eventually, he pushed through the muddy road and onto the pavement.

"Finn, I never knew this existed."

"Roads. Cars. They're everywhere where I am…"

"Wow…"

They made it to the gas station. The 'OPEN' sign was up, but no one seemed to be there. The whole store was empty of groceries.

Then the door shut.

"Hello… I saw you yesterday… You were a nice guy."

"Max?"

"Yeah sir… We were once great friends."

"So much fear…" Calliope stammered.

"I just met you yesterday!"

"The Princess is mine!" Max yelled in fierce anger.

Instead of replying, Finn pulled his blood sword out, and ran for him.

He flew up in the air and shot fire bolts from his hands. Finn dodged them.

"The Princess was mine since the day I was BORN!" Max yelled maniacally.

"What have you been smoking?" Finn asked nonchalantly.

"What have I been SMOKING? And want to know a truth, Calliope Princess? Your glob Edu is just a brain hooked up to a mainframe! Edu lost his mind! He began to talk like a maniac! Your father always mistook his orders as suggestions of enlightenment! He was such a superstitious nutcase. I was going to show you love, dear girl! But you're now just as low as that fool who wooed you!"

"At least that brain was better than you, FREAK!"

"Could be. Like I even care. Heh. I want to see you DIE!" He charged at me.

Finn grabbed his neck and pinned him down to the ground.

"Did you kill her father? Yes… or No…"

"Yes, you loser face. I killed everyone of the whole entire kingdom!" Suddenly, Finn heard an explosion go off. "There they go. Her sorry people are all now DEAD!"

Finn drove the sword into his chest, finishing him off.

Calliope lost her patience. She picked him up and threw his dead body into the woods behind the gas station.

Finn and Calliope got back into the car and rapidly drove towards the Candy Kingdom.

"That guy was giving me nightmares, Finn."

"Yeah, but he's now dead."

"Finn… You're my hero."

"You saved me from being burned…"

"No problem." She blushed a little.

He eventually made it to his tree house. The air was once again very cold, making him shiver. He threw his coat on. Glob was he tired. Calliope was already sleeping. He had to carry her into the house.

"HEY BRO!" Jake surprised him. "Who's that beautiful princess you have there?"

"Her name is Calliope, the Jungle Princess. I had to totes go through hell and back to bring her here…"

"She needs clothes man… She must be freezing!"

"I've got lady clothes just for that reason…"

"Yeah man… You're always prepared, are you…"

She woke up and he gave her the clothes.

"What are these?" She asked.

"These are 'civil' clothes… Try them on… Head into my room…" Calliope went into his room and put on the 'civil' clothes. She came down.

"Lookin' spiffy in a jiffy, girl…" Finn said.

"You're going to have to teach me life all over again…" She said, winking.

"Oh sure, I will. It'll be algebraic!"

"Hey lady, it'll be just fine…" Jake said.

By then, she was sleeping on the couch. Finn kissed her forehead before heading up to his bed. Jake fell asleep.

R & R! And yes, the brain idea came from the Fallout 3 DLC where you had to defend Desmond from the natives. Calvert, the Brain, once rational, now insane…

DEDICATED TO ATTACKME.


End file.
